One of those days

Today I had one of those days. You know, the ones where your job has sucked every last bit of life-force from you and still demands more.

The ones where you had a huge pile of mundane but urgent work to do, and couldn’t concentrate on any of it because you kept imagining what life would be like if you didn’t have this job, and now you’re panicking because tomorrow you’ll have to try and face the same pile of work plus a little more.

The ones where it takes you 20 minutes to compose a three-sentence email because every few words, you stop to sigh and stare out the window.

The ones where you open up a spreadsheet, not to do more work, but to try and calculate how long you could pay your bills if you quit your job today, and then ask yourself if that would be enough time to find a new source of income.

The ones where you go and read all the marketing emails from your mailing lists that cater to wannabe entrepreneurs, and almost convince yourself to buy another online course when you haven’t even taken the time to follow through on the last one you bought.

To be fair, it could have been a lot worse. I was working from home today, so I had the luxury of taking breaks to go work out, play with my son, and take a walk around the block. If I was stuck in an office then my only relief would have been mindless internet browsing.

I’ve had days like this in every job I’ve ever worked. That may be a big reason why I still have the distorted but stubborn belief that finding a job I really love is a pipe dream.

I’m going to go to bed tonight, wake up tomorrow morning, and face the same job. I’ll get through it, one way or another, and perhaps it won’t be quite as bad as today was. But I’m not going to forget this day.

Why? Well, because I wrote a blog post about it.

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